What are you? Really?

by J'aime ona Pangaia
Copyright 2018

You have ways of recognizing your self, ways of describing yourself: this is who/ how I am.

Fill in the blank: I am… serious, playful, rational, intuitive, orderly, spontaneous, relational, independent, busy, restful, directive, surrendered, creative, fearful, brave, predictable, dependable, mysterious, spiritual, down to earth, hopeful, pragmatic, etc., etc.. Each of these ways of being are finite, specific, limited ways of being.

One way of thinking about this is that we have many different 'inner selves', almost as if we have a collection of inner people within us that make up our personality, some whom we recognize and claim, and others that we renounce. They exist within us and we are frequently 'shuf?ing the deck' between them, as changing conditions demand. This is a concept..

Here's another. We are actually only one essential Aware Being, that has infinite ways of knowing Ourself. These ways are indeed descriptive, as mentioned above. But essentially, they are WAYS of Being, forms, patterns, perceptual / experiential frameworks through which I, formless Self-Knowing Awareness, become experience, existence.

exist (v.)

from Latin existere/exsistere "to step out, stand forth, emerge, appear; exist, be"

Example: If I have an infinite mound of clay, it can be shaped it into countless forms: a cup, a plate, a figure, a symbol, etc.. While we now have those forms, it is still only ever clay. The clayness never left upon taking a form.

We Awareness, are inherently nothing, No Thing… unless we exist, emerge from No Thing to become This (descriptive). It is always only I that comes into existence, becomes a Reality to be experienced. There is only I that knows I, prior to all descriptions, all formations, all ways of Being I.

This isn't exactly accurate, because this isn't about being I, No Thing, and changing into Some Thing (those descriptions of yourself). Both are true, simultaneously. We are both Nothing (complete perfection, still, empty) AND we exist as Every Thing, all ways, all frameworks, all forms. As we are in-formation, we are still Aware Being, now, as THIS. And, paradoxically, formless Self-Knowing Awarenesss is unchanged by Itself as Existence. We, Awareness are both finite and infinite Reality.

Of course, it is not usual that we (consciousness identified with a form) directly knows this. What is limited (forms, ways) cannot know Infinity. Infinite Being knows Infinity.

When I am in-form/ identified with a particular way of being, I am actualized as THIIS. All other ways don't appear to exist (except as an (unREALized) potential) unless and until I re-form as THAT. With that re-formation, perception and experience changes accordingly. When I/You am formed as THIS, (serious, playful, rational, etc.), Reality is perceived in accordance with, or in contrast with THIS.

I said the other ways don't APPEAR to exist. Actually, everything (I) Am is always both continuously in existence and without existence. As are the ways of being. Here's how.

When I am in THIS form (say, Orderly), that way of being chaotic happens still, but now, from the perceptual framework of I/Orderly, Chaotic way of being appears to happen 'there', not 'here'. It appears to happen in THAT which is not I/Orderly... some one, some thing else.

If I, Awareness am in-formed as Orderly, then I, Orderly, being a limited form of I, Awareness, will perceive any other ways of being - as others. I, Orderly perceive someone else as chaotic. And it can be with lightning speed that I reform as Chaotic (changing). The ways of being appears to change, the Being does not; it is still only I, Awareness.

Awareness is not a condition that a person has, a person is a condition that I, Awareness have. All the 'inner selves', the ways of being are compositions of I, Awareness. We could say that I, Unconditional Awareness have conditioned expressions of My Self.

I Unconditional Awareness have the conditioned experiences of being serious, playful, rational, intuitive, orderly, spontaneous, relational, independent, busy, restful, directive, surrendered, creative, fearful, brave, predictable, dependable, mysterious, spiritual, down to earth, hopeful, pragmatic, etc., etc..

Wonder again. What are you? What is real, true

~ J'aime ona Pangaia
June 2018